Conscious Touch:

A Communication Tool for Receiving Touch

Typically, disinterest and eventually dysfunction creeps into sexual relationships simply because people do not know how to communicate when expressing sexually. Therefore, learning to communicate is absolutely necessary

Human beings all over the Earth find special places that arouse deep feelings. When we look at a mountain, tree, river, or ocean, we receive its power and beauty into our hearts, minds, and bodies. We marvel at the mystery of life because we have a basic need to be close to nature—to explore, witness, feel, taste, and listen to it. The same is true of the human body. Wanting to be close to our partners, to explore, witness, feel, taste, and listen to their bodies is a basic human need.

We learn to enjoy the human body the same way we learn to enjoy nature. We find and explore personally sensitive places on the body, just as we find and explore special places on Earth. For example, in our cities, we identify buildings that by their form and presence become special places for spiritual purposes, such as shrines and temples. Likewise, the human body becomes a special place for spiritual purposes. In the world, we identify places where the larger whole has become condensed into a symbolic form or statement. We also identify places that bear no special markings, but have had special meaning in the consciousness of early Earth worshipers such as special sacred groves, springs, caves, rivers, stones, meadows, mountains, valleys, deserts, or volcanoes. We learn to intentionally and consciously treat the body with the same reverence.

We learn to identify our own personal sacred places, or power spots, in our bodies so our sexual expressions are as honest, intimate, loving, and pleasurable as possible. This kind of awareness and healthy communication is the road map to sexual health. We honor our bodies as vehicles for opening and deepening our spiritual sexually.

“Conscious touch” is a communication tool to be used when partners are giving and receiving touch. It is a technique that helps provide safe and appropriate boundaries for a person who is accepting responsibility for the manner in which he or she explores being touched.

The person receiving touch, the “passive receiver,” learns to listen carefully to what his or her body is saying, to feel what is needed and wanted, and then gives specific directions to the person doing the touching, the “active receiver.” The passive receiver repeatedly practices giving directions to the active receiver while taking responsibility for communicating when being touched, and doing it in a clear and positive manner. Simultaneously, they learn to feel empowered and safe.

The four elements of Conscious Touch are taught in private sessions and workshops. Conscious Touch is also described in detail in materials written by Kristin Lish. The communication tool is indispensable for healthy sexual expression.